just another ordinary day

i got up and fed the cats, read new moon while watching the morning cartoons, cooked breakfast, did a dvd marathon, and finally blogged the day away.

nothing special, just another ordinary day. :)

back on my feet

well, the issue died, at least, that's what i thought or i'd like to think. i'm no longer the crying and depressed episode from last week. looks like being sick made me realize a lot of things.

that things do not happen without a reason.
that we cannot always do everything that we want.
that we should always be prepared for everything that may happen.

i just had the interview last sunday. as far as i could tell, it did not go as nicely or as smoothly as i was expecting. i got overwhelmed by the questions and i stammered a lot.

well, i'm back, and i know, i will do things better this time. :)

kinakabahan

oh-em-gee

an hour to go before the most awaited phone interview. will i pass, will i fail? will i give a good impression, will i make a fool out of myself?

i never thought of using the slang term above, but the tension, oh the tension is killing me.. what are they going to ask? what will it be all about? i know it's for a PC technician post. i know i am capable but.. but.. there's a lot of buts..

breath in, breath out. keep calm, keep steady.. I can do this. I WILL DO THIS..

this may even be the biggest break that i have been waiting for. hope i impress them and the committee gives me a chance..

bitter?

well, m tired of crying my heart out. finally, everything has come to a stop. we are officially done. no more thinking of possibilities of being together again. no more wondering if there is still hope, a chance of getting back.

after almost 5 years of being in a relationship, it is kind of hard. habits are formed and a lot of memories have been invested. it is difficult, i know, it could have been sooner. even i am kind of confused as to what happened and what went wrong. i tried to be clingy, and passive, agressive, angry. there's a lot going on right now.

i want to get out. i need to get out. everything is closing in, yet, i don't have the power to stop the hurt. hurts like hell but hey, nothing was meant to be easy.

Goodbye to love

I'll say goodbye to love No one ever cared if I should live or die Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by And all I know of love is how to live without it I just can't seem to find it So I've made my mind up I must live my life alone And though it's not the easy way I guess I've always known I'd say goodbye to love There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine Surely time will lose these bitter memories And I'll find that there is someone to believe in And to live for something I could live for All the years of useless search Have finally reached an end Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend From this day love is forgotten I'll go on as best I can What lies in the future is a mystery to us all No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong But for now this is my song And it's goodbye to love I'll say goodbye to love

numb

its done..   we're through..

new hobby

remember me posting my resolutions? well, one of it is to lose weight. i am usually a passive person and this is a very new thing that i would try. what other great way is there to lose weight but to be involved with sports?

me and my friends from my office decided to sign up with boxing. yep, you heard it right. i am going to try and sweat my way swinging punches and doing fancy foot works (haha). tomorrow, we get to start training.

just like any other sports when we get to see a live one, we enjoy having our adrenaline rush. this is so similar when we watch a horse race. it is not as violent as basketball or football, but the game itself is so unpredictable. with announcers giving you the play by play, and the audiences cheering their bet horses to the finish, you just can't help but be excited. same applies when you watch it live or through a television or online

speaking of horse races, not only you get to watch, but you get to bet as well. betting is just as exciting since there is money involved. betting nowadays are easier since we don't have to go out to do so. we could do football betting, online casino, and all sorts of stuff at our convenience. with just a click away, you will be able to get a chance to have a go with winning money.

tomorrow i'll post my first real try at sports. (hope i don't break someone's nose!)

Rainy days and Monday

Rainy days and Monday



Talkin' to myself and feeling old.

Sometimes I'd like to quit;

Nothing ever seems to fit;

Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down



What I've got they used to call the blues:

Nothin' is really wrong;

Feelin' like I don't belong;

Walkin' around, some kind of lonely clown;

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down



Funny, but it seems that I always wind up-a here with you;

Nice to know somebody loves me.

Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do:

Run and find the one who loves me.



(*) What I feel is come and gone before:

No need to talk it out;

We know what it's all about.

Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down



Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do,

Run and find the one who loves me



Repeat (*)



Hangin' around, nothing do to but frown;

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down



I am able to relate to the song. The Carpenters have always been one of my favorite performers. I guess, there really is a rainy day or a Monday to put us down.

while i wait..

so now, more gray areas have been cleared.

i am pertaining to the stupid borderline status that mj and i are currently into. we both came to an understanding (again!) that no matter what happens, we would still both end up happily ever after.. (amen.. haha) we plan to make ourselves busy for some "me" time. here are the things that i plan to do:

1. improve and make sure that my blog is active. i know for myself that once i started with one thing, there is a big possibility that i won't finish it. there's a lot of things on my room that i started but did not finish. cross stitch materials, word hunts, jigsaw puzzles, unwatched dvds, unread books. you name it, i might have not finished it.. haha!

2. earn more while working. i plan to make my dakki business stronger. i was able to earn a pretty good sum the last time and i still have some payments to collect. not bad since i am able to at least save some on my handy dandy coin bank.

3. be positive on the work side. i may not like my superior that much, still, i get to widen my perspectives. i plan to see the better brighter side of things. i read malen's blog and one of the things that she learned was to maximize the power of positive thinking. whatever your outlook is, may it be negative or positive, it is also the kind of force that you would attract. so, better keep things positive for me. i don't want more negativity in my life, thanks.

4. respect, love, be more of myself. maybe it is really time that i get to know me as me and not just someone always associated with mj. it's really hard to do so specially that we are on this stage. sometimes i do things that are not right, and instead of doing something to correct it, i punish myself into thinking too much. it's time to face my fears and be more of the "JOANNE" that i am dreaming to be capable of.

nung kame ay mag trip - barkada sort of christmas party

last december 27, me and my friends decided to celebrate the holidays. with lots of things to be thankful for, it is just right to do so..



we had gifts under the tree and everyone was happy.. para sa tropang may baak ang bungo, here's to us!!

yipee!

i feel good about 3 things (this does not include the stupid borderline feeling).

1.) dora's back.. the sweetie came back one very early morning with a very dirty coat of dirt while crying non stop. i don't know, she may have missed me, but i think she missed water and food more.. haha :)

2.) i am done updating my resume. YEY! i feel very proud of myself. i kept on putting it off for 3 years, and finally, i managed to complete it. all thanks for my good for nothing boss (he deserves the credit.. he made me hate the work i am doing now.. haha!).

3.) i was able to submit my resume to the website that mayeth referred me to. i am about to email her now so if in case there is still a need or whichever is faster, then my chances are higher than it should be.. THANKS MYET!!!

stupid borderline

mj and i started to lose the spark between us. we were able to talk well and good about the said topic. we both reached this agreement that before we move forward, he has to go back and find himself and eventually his way back to me. i know it sounded like a breakup but it's not. that's the main reason why we call it a stupid borderline. no one wants to get out, but then we have to take the risks accompanied by our mutual decision.

here is how its going to work.

we start fresh, i'll start fulfilling my resolution. he has to miss me first, make sure my importance is needed and he has to realize my worth. we have to start fresh and let destiny take its own will. sounds hard? hell yes! we have been with each other for quite a while now that we have been too comfortable with each other.

he needs this, i need this. we both need this. and this will actually work.

dora is missing

this is the third day since they left dora out that she did not return since. i am sick with worry and wishing from time to time for her to come home. here's a picture of that super cute baby..


this is her mom kukang and brother, tuting. she has another brother named popot but he is not included in the photo..

bored

today, i spent some time trying to catch up with work. i lost my motivation about 2 months ago. much as i want to bring it up, i cant. i'm not sure why but somehow, something is missing. i think i need to see some changes. i want to have a new job, somewhere that would take me out of this country. the wave of the dollar currency has this very big effect on me. i guess it really is time to update my resume.