Tarot, anyone?

Got a tarot reading last Friday. it was free courtesy of my company. was able to ask about my finances and love life. my finances should be fine, as long as i don't spend too much on little things. what really struck as amusing was the reading about meeting someone in December. that someone was to be a friend of a friend and will be meeting him at a party.. interesting, right?

in addition, i spent the night with a very special friend. i am thankful as he understands what i could only give him. hopefully, this would be the start of me finding what i really want.

stupid problem

i am currently reading my posts since i first started my blog. surprisingly enough, may substance pala, kahit sobrang simple lang ng iba. from heartaches to excitement, to being expectant, at lahat lahat na. well wishes at curses kung kani-kanino, it did come a long way, even if hindi cia kumikita ng kaperahan.. haha!

on another note, what really prompted me to write is because i am worried. something is definitely wrong with me, and i am not liking it.

it has been 2 years since i have been on a relationship and somehow, i have grown accustomed to being alone. i depend on myself alone and i don't rely on someone else just to feel complete. true, i miss the feeling of belonging to someone but in all honesty, naiinip talaga ako. i love the feeling and being in love, pero pag anjan na, kusang tumitiklop ung security and defense mechanism ko, lalo akong nagiging manhid sa mga taong nagpaparamdam saken. either deep inside ayaw ko sa kanila, or natatakot akong maging part ng relationship na alam kong di ko pa mabibigay ung at least 50% ng nararamdaman nila.

confusing, right? ewan ko ba. nagiinarte ako na hindi dapat. pero hirap kalaban ng sarili kase. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT, AND I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF I WILL STAY WANTING IT WHEN I DO FIND IT.

tangang problem pero the most difficult that i have to deal with so far. bukas ko na i-check kung ano tong pinagsususulat ko, for the mean time, this will stay.

j

pics pics!

The Only Exception

Out of boredom and the feeling of sleepiness, a song got stuck in my head.   When I was younger I saw my daddy cry And curse at the wind He broke his own heart And I watched As he tried to reassemble it And my momma swore that She would never let herself forget And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love If it does not exist But darling, You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception Maybe I know, somewhere Deep in my soul That love never lasts And we've got to find other ways To make it alone Keep a straight face And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable, distance And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm Content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk Well, You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception I've got a tight grip on reality But I can't Let go of what's in front of me here I know you're leaving In the morning, when you wake up Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream Ohh--- You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception You, are, the only exception And I'm on my way to believing Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

One Sunday

watched RED yesterday with a friend and surprisingly enough, i had fun. it was actually the first time that i went and watched a movie with someone. the fun part came as a surprise as i am already accustomed to watching movies on my own. it was a change in a nice way, though i myself am not sure of what will happen in the coming days. at this point, aside from being underestimated, i am also undecided. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I REALLY WANT. so there.

Updates! Updates!

September has come and gone, October is nearing its end. Oh how time flies. Just a few updates: One of my friends is pregnant. One of my friends just got accepted and is currently training in the same company I am in. One of my friends will be celebrating her birthday and we are currently planning a surprise for her. I am currently hooked to business. I am still looking for anything romantic, unfortunately, none of those interested interests me.. haha! I became part of the Quality Analytics team. this would mean more math, excel, and logical thinking for me.. bummer.. In a sense, this would do me a world of good, plus somehow, it will help me overcome my stupidity when dealing with numbers. I AM NOT COMPLAINING, this is just an outlet that i created since i would be shifted out of my usual comfort zone. Call me lazy, whatever. :) Pictures are to follow. At the moment, I am in the office, and resources are quite limited. joanne